Day 9 - Acupuncture

This morning, I had acupuncture, and I think that it helped me be more emotionally settled. I'm not sure. I'm not sure I believe in that anyway.

I'm tired, and I'm stressed, and I'm achey.

I really hope this gets better soon.

Days Seven and Eight- Power of Suggestion?

The real dog can't get up on the bed anymore. 

Different doctors posit different theories on what causes fibromyalgia. I've heard it called an autoimmune disease, a hormonal problem, and a metabolic syndrome. 

Newer research tends to say that fibromyalgia is a neurological disorder, marked by actual brain damage to the region of the brain which processes pain. 

The damage, according to the staff at the Sagol Hyperbaric Unit, is generally caused by one of three things; physical trauma to the head, a virus, or emotional trauma.

I haven't had physical trauma to my head, but there was a virus - I had Epstein-Barr (Mono) sometime when I was 18 or 19, and there was emotional trauma. 

I was warned when I started the treatment that part of the process is that emotional traumas have a way of coming to the fore in one's mind.

So maybe it's the power of suggestion or maybe it's the fact that that's really how this works, but yesterday (Monday - day 7) I was in the chamber listening to music (there's a "radio" kind of like on an airplane where there are 3 channels that you can choose from) and all of a sudden, I was in a flood of memories - good, bad, ugly - anything from playing with a smaller child in daycare when I was four or five to giving birth to my children to being kissed - just everything was rushing in. It wasn't even things that were necessarily highly emotionally charged, just there was so much of it. I was overwhelmed, and I started crying. 

I don't know if anyone noticed and chose to not say anything or if people are so involved in their own stories that no one noticed, but there I was, in a room full of people, crying, tears running down my face, and feeling completely alone.

And then, the treatment's over, I have to get my stuff, get in the car, keep up normal conversation with my passenger, pick up kids, get through the day. Get through the night.

I feel so raw, like I have the emotional strength of a small child, like I could break at any moment. But here I am, being a mom, being a wife, being a writer, 

And sleeping with a stuffed toy dog. 

One Tenth!

Yep. That's how I look when I'm hooked up to oxygen!

Today was treatment number six.
I tried to sleep, but couldn't - I think it's mainly because the oxygen is behind a valve, and the effort needed to breathe is more than I can put out while asleep.

Apparently, the fact that it wears me out is totally normal, and the fact that I'm in a lot of pain is also totally normal.

I talked to another fibro patient today who is at around 50 treatments and I got some feedback that I found useful if not as encouraging as I'd hoped. She says that she still gets run down very quickly, but is slowly building up her strength.

So I was thinking that it's kind of like a trip, and there's crew and passengers and stuff. So it's a manned mission because there's a nurse inside, but the main operator is outside. The guy who usually does it is called Barry. He has a bunch of video screens in front of him and he's supposed to watch everyone for signs of oxygen poisoning, as well as tell us when our breaks are and handle the airlocks.

I realized today that there are two airlocks. I'm not sure that's what they're really called, but there's this little tiny chamber where they can pass through small items if someone needs something, and there's also a bigger chamber which can seat a few people. That chamber can be sealed, brought up to 1 atmosphere (like the chamber I sit in), and then people can go into it and decompress so that they can use the restroom.

Pro-tip - if you bring gum in in a container that closes, don't close it during pressurization or depressurization. The former causes the sides to cave in - the latter causes the top to pop off, loudly.

Water is served from plastic pitchers which do not seal. Apparently, this is why.

6 down, 54 to go.

First Weekend - Pharmacy Edition.

My kitchen pretty much looks like this

It's been an interesting few days, health-wise.
I had a brutal time falling asleep Thursday night, but eventually with two Optalgin, plus an extra dose of Tramadex 50mg (I already take 200 OD - which is slow release and lasts 24 hours) I was able to sleep at 5am. That was, needless to say, far from ideal.

Friday night, I tried that with a little bit of melatonin, and I slept really well. I woke up Saturday morning, went to synagogue, and came home feeling like I'd been lifting heavy boxes for hours. I slept another 5 hours, then woke up and went to lie on the couch and hang out with the family.

Now I've been up about 5 hours, and I'm almost tired enough to go to sleep again. I think I'll take a melatonin tonight, too, just to keep everything on schedule. The last thing I want is to be up until 2am tonight and then to feel even worse tomorrow.

Basically, I feel like I'm ingesting a small pharmacy daily, but this should be temporary. Hopefully, in a few more weeks, I'll start feeling better instead of worse... In the meantime, I'm grateful for a husband who took care of the kids all afternoon, parents who love me, friends who are amazingly supportive, and a doctor who didn't make me come into the office to ask for extra pain medicine.

Photo by Ryan Lackey

Day Five

This is one of the four multi-person chambers

We all live in a yellow submarine... Ok. It's really white. So I'm getting more used to the rhythm of things. I wake up, get everyone dressed and ready, and head off to the hospital. I get my stickers, they take my temperature and blood pressure. I put my purse in a locker, go to the bathroom-it turns out that you *can* escape in the middle, but it means an extra drop and rise in pressure, which is not exactly fun. Then a drink, and then into the chamber. 

I have a  passenger who I take home, and then it's time to get the baby... It's there that everything fails, and I am so tired and in so much pain that it just isn't workable. Unfortunately, children arrive, need lunch, need a mommy... Maybe we'll get there next week.

Day 4

There's still a lot I want to say - day 4, I was so exhausted that I went to sleep before the kids - I think I got into bed around 7:15 and I barely moved again until Ephraim came in at 5:30, and then I only actually woke up for my 6:15 alarm - and I'm still tired...

So I'm off to the chamber soon. 

Day #3 - Check In

I am more sore than I can remember being in quite a while. This apparently means that the treatment is working.

I would like to sleep for about a week, but alas, I have to do various mommy duties, and then I have to go to a play rehearsal (play in three weeks so I can't miss rehearsals no matter what)

I'm supposed to get an acupuncture treatment at some point, but I really don't have time for it. Being a mom is hard. Being a sick mom is harder.

Anyway, I'm not sure I'll have time to write more tonight, so I'm just checking in and confirming that I went for treatment #3 today.